Author: Luke Ozvik

We fade in on sleazy dark set. A single spotlight illuminates a steel-frame bed – no bedclothes or pillows, just that stained old mattress. It looks cold and dirty – it needs a hot woman to warm it up… There’s a clicking of heels as this week’s guest walks onto the set. She arrives in […] read

Once again we fade in on our dark bed set… Just that ugly rusty old iron bed, and the tired old mattress. No sheets, no pillows. Cheap and tacky. A single spotlight illuminates the set from above, casting a harsh light that makes things look even cheaper. We hear the fast clicking of heels on […] read

Once again we fade in on our dark studio – moving in on the rusty old bed and the smelly, cum stained mattress, illuminated by that single powerful spotlight. If you looked “sleezy” up in a visual dictionary, it would probably look like this. Then there’s the familiar clicking of heels on concrete as our […] read

We fade in on our ‘bedroom’ set. All in darkness, then turn on the spotlights, highlighting the rusty, ugly old bedstead, and dirty mattress. It’s a sleezy scene, a bed that no self-respecting woman would lie down on… And she comes now… We hear footsteps approaching – multiple footsteps, and two women walk into frame. […] read

We fade in on our darkened bedroom set. The bed in a pool of light in the middle of the studio. There are no sheets, blankets or pillows on the bed, just an old mattress. It’s stark and cold, and not at all welcoming. There’s a clicking of heels as this week’s guest approaches from […] read

We’re back on our Stage 1 at our studio ‘complex’. The room is dark, but in the middle of the floor there’s a single steel-framed bed in a pool of light from a couple of spotlights. The bed is as basic as it gets – a steel frame, old bedstead. It looks vaguely rusty and […] read

As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling […] read

An establishing shot of a large mechanical workshop, half a dozen mechanics in blue overalls working on a couple of commercial trucks… And then our host steps into frame… This week it’s former webcam girl, Kimberly, whose good looks and great figure, are always a welcome sight – especially when, as today, she’s wearing her […] read

We begin with an establishing shot of Brighton pleasure pier from the beach – the famous seaside landmark reaching across the yellow sand and out over the blue sea. The beach is crowded with sunseekers, keen to enjoy the fine weather. Then we’re on the pier – tracking along past old ladies sitting on benches, […] read

We cut to an inner-city street. We’re looking up at a seemingly endless plain, high, brick wall. No windows. No billboards. Just bricks… And then a large black gate – two stories high, a simple sign is screwed to the wall next to the gate. It reads, “H.M. PRISON PENTONVILLE” We look at this for […] read

We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of […] read