We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway… And then we’re looking at something new – we’re in a semi-industrial, run down old part of town. Clearly an area that’s seen better days. Half of the factory units/shops around here are locked up with ‘TO LET’ signs stating, ‘LOW RENT’. Despite being half closed, there’s a good number of vans driving around. Plenty of trade for the shops that are open – selling goods cheap, making deals.
The van drivers, traders and customers all seem happy as our hostess, Charley, walks between them, talking direct to camera. Her big fake boobs are squeezed into a bra one size too small to produce that extra bloom of cleavage, and shown off in the low-cut V of her loose sweater. Her tattoo in plain sight. She’s gone for distressed denim jeans and high heels for this week. A casual look that still looks dirtier than anything most women ever wear. She knows all the guys are looking, and she looks very comfortable with it, almost talking to them as much as our camera as she passes by…
“Welcome to the United Kingdom of Zoo. I’m Charley Ozvik, and I’m travelling the length and breadth of the country, looking for lucky ladies who want to make their dirty doggy fantasies come true…”
The title, “THE UNITED KINGDOM OF ZOO” flashes up on screen over a graphic showing the UK, with little pins appearing, each pin representing a location we’ve either visited, or will be visiting in this series. Yet again, it’s a London pin that’s flashing.
This week we’re in Battersea, a busy central suburb of London, just south of the Thames. It’s another crowded streetscape, with impatient drivers and the occasional ignorant pedestrian stepping out into the road. We focus on a small, green fronted café.
Inside, we watch a very thin, almost skeletal woman, with thin and lifeless shoulder length peroxide blonde hair walk out of the kitchen. The most striking thing about her is the size of her chest. Whilst everything else is skinny (highlighted by the narrow legs of her skinny jeans), her chest (hidden away inside a t-shirt) is large and firm. She delivers the order to an old couple. Standard East End breakfast, sausages, eggs, bacon, tomatoes, toast, and a lovely hot pot of tea.
Her skin is bad, and when she smiles she shows off teeth that needs more than a little dental attention… She’s not ‘ugly’, she was clearly fairly attractive once – but now everything seems to be about one degree away from pretty. Right now she just looks very, very tired.
She introduces us in voice-over, a very strong Cockney accent and slightly husky/crackly tone to her voice. “My name is Lauren Robertson. I’m 37 years old, and I’m a recovering addict from Battersea in London.”
She heads back into the kitchen to get her next order.
Cut to Lauren sitting in a little bedsit. Same t-shirt and skinny jeans. She’s on the corner of the bed, because our camera equipment takes us most of the rest of the space. She’s looking through a stack of photographs – real photographs rather than digital. Talking to us as she does. She’s got that nervous energy that’s typical of drug users.
“I ruined my life with drugs… I used to be really pretty… See…” She holds a picture out to camera, her – much younger – looking very pretty, which far more rounded features and a figure. Not spectacular, but much better than the skinny look she’s sporting now.
“When we was first married, my husband thought he could make some money off me. We made some pornos. Amateur stuff. Just me and him. Then we got an offer to do some stuff with other blokes – and he said I should do it. So I did. With girls too. I didn’t really like it to be honest. I only did it for the money. He even got me to make videos when I was pregnant. After I had my daughter he wanted me in shape as soon as possible so we could get more money, like. That’s when I got into the drugs – to stop me finking about it… That’s when everything started to wrong…”
The monologue is delivered at speed, with a manic edge of a junky.
“I lost everything. My husband went when I stopped being ‘pretty’… He took my daughter. My family won’t talk to me because of all the videos, and because I stole from all of them… I don’t have any friends, because all my friends are either still into drugs, or they’re dead… I’ve got nothing…” Then she looks up at us with that bright smile. “Except my health… I’m not dead!!” Then the smile disappears, and she holds up a picture of her, younger, rounder, holding a little girl. “That’s Anna, that’s my little girl…”
Cut to Lauren, still flicking through her pictures. Finding another to show us – her family, a big gathering, four generations. “That’s about 4 years old. I got it off my sister. I’m the only one not it in.” Then she’s talking to the camera again. “I was told by the courts that I wasn’t a good mother – I did so many pornos with so many guys, and I did so much drugs… They said I couldn’t be trusted with my daughter, not even supervised visits. I’d gone back to drugs too often – I’d be a bad influence. My family, they treat me like I’m dead… Except my sister, even she only sends me letters, she won’t actually come see me… My doctor says I need to take charge of my life. Do whatever I need to stay clean and don’t worry about trying to please others.”
“And that’s why you’re with us today?” Says Charley, seizing the opportunity to get a word in.
“Yeah… I want to do a big ‘fuck you’ to all of them. If they say I’m going to go back on heroin… Fuck you, I won’t. I’ll be 70 and clean and they’ll all see they were wrong. If they say I have to behave like a nice girl and EARN their trust… I’ll behave like a slut and EARN their disgust… I want to do the most appalling, disgusting, perverted thing I can think of – and rub it in all their faces because no matter what I do they won’t let me have my girl back… So… Fucking a dog on national television sounds like a really good idea to me!” She says, speeding up and getting quite heated.
Charley tries to calm her with an easy question, “Do dogs turn you on?”
Lauren pauses, that happy smile returning to her face, the helter-skelter look still behind her eyes. “Nothing really turns me on anymore… I did so much when I was on the junk. I’ve no idea what I did to be honest… I might even have fucked a dog already for all I know. There was a time I’d have done anything to get a fix… That’s another reason I’m here. If I have fucked a dog, I want to know about it!”
“Well, I suppose we should bring a dog in for you to fuck then…” Says Charley brightly, turning to camera, “And here’s the dog that she’s going to fuck…”
We cut to the street outside and see a familiar trio walking side-by-side toward us in the middle of the road. It’s young and scruffy Greg, hand-in-hand with his heavily pregnant girlfriend, and former guest on the show, Caitlyn… And between them, looking up from one to the other as they walk, it’s Samson the German Pointer.
We cut to a close-up of the three of them. Greg and Caitlyn crouching either side of Sam, all three of them looking into camera.
Greg speaks first, “Hi, I’m Greg…”
Then it’s his girlfriend’s turn, “And I’m Caitlyn…”
Then both of them together, “And this is Samson.”
Back to Caitlyn, “I’ve become very familiar with Samson’s sexual prowess, and I can tell you he’s the best lover I’ve ever had… Nobody fucks like a German Pointer!”
Greg looks a little downhearted for a moment, then cracks a smile, “Yeah, that’s fair…” He acknowledges.
We cut to the pair of them entering Lauren’s little bedsit, with Samson padding around excitedly at their feet. It’s a squeeze to fit everyone into the room along with our crew and equipment, plus Charley and Lauren.
Lauren gives them a noisy welcome, “Sorry the place is so small, it’s all I can afford..” as she gives each of them a quick hug and a cheek kiss welcome, before bending forward to ruffle Samson’s head and neck.
We catch the look on Caitlyn’s face – she’s not impressed with the room – so small, untidy, and frankly – dirty. A description that pretty much fits Lauren too!
Lauren stands beside the bed and unzips her jeans, pulling them down, then sitting back on the bed to lift her legs up and peel the drain-pipe legs over her feet. Her legs are as skinny as they looked in the jeans, her hips sticking out a little. She leaves her white g-string on, but it’s tight enough and sheer enough that we can see she has a shaven pussy that is already a little damp.
She talks, mainly to Greg, as she strips. Nervous energy. “I don’t look like much now, but you should have seen me five years ago…” She smiles. A little cutaway shot of Caitlyn shows she’s not impressed with Greg being talked to… But Lauren continues.
She pulls her t-shirt up and over her head – revealing a skinny rather than flat belly, pronounced ribs, then a spectacularly round, but widely spaced pair of fake boobs. Two grapefruit jammed onto her chest, with a two inch gap between them. On another woman, or on her before the heroin ruined her, they might have been a match for Charley’s bolt-ons, but here they look vaguely sad and pathetic. Lauren throws her t-shirt across the room, then smiles, obviously enjoying that everyone is looking at her boobs, and not picking up that we are looking because they are strange rather than sexy. “They’re the only bit of me the drugs haven’t ruined… I’ve got these babies for life!”
She shimmies her shoulders, bending forward a little to shake her upper body, trying to wobble those boobs for the camera, but they aren’t moving at all!
We cut to a GoPro close-up of Caitlyn, turning her head to camera and whispering, “She’s all class!” in a very bitchy tone, then giggling.
Back to Lauren as she drops to her knees on the floor infront of Samson, her hands fondling at those fake tits of hers, pinching and pulling on her nipples, letting out a wicked, almost insanely excited laugh as she leans toward him and offers her wide open mouth… He’s jumpy and excited from the second she hits the floor, picking up the sense that she is absolutely mad for this – and he starts licking her face immediately. Her jaw, her nose, her cheeks, and of course, her mouth. Licking at her with passion and excitement. Her reacting to every lick with an “Aaaahhhhh” or an “Uuuurrrggghhhh”… Loving it.
As the dog pushes toward her, trying to lick the back of her throat, she falls back – first onto her bony bottom, then onto her back on the floor, but keeps her mouth open, letting the beast lick at her.
In a close-up we can see that she is working her tongue against his mouth as much as he is working his against hers. She’s licking at his tongue and his jowels, and he’s licking at her whole face, sometimes hitting her mouth in the process.
Eventually the dog loses interest in her face and moves off to explore other parts of her body – sniffing at her tits which she’s still squeezing and pulling on – then sniffing between her legs, which she opens like a book to give him full access to her hairy honey-pot.
“MMMnnnnn yeah…. Oh do it… Do it!” She gasps as he begins to lick at her pussy – his long tongue hitting the mark right away, slopping between her pussy lips and flashing deep inside her, making her arch her back and buck.
Another brief GoPro shot of Caitlyn looking unimpressed as her dog licks at the ex-addict. “I hope he doesn’t catch anything!” She whispers to the camera.
As the dog moves around we can see his cock already showing under his belly, an inch or two, glistening with pre-cum… He’s already ready to rock… And Lauren knows it… Looking up from the floor, playing with her tits, writhing around as he licks her hot slot, but eyes fixed on the animal’s growing prick…
“MMmmmmmm, that looks yummy!” She chuckles through a wide bad-toothed smile as she pulls Samson’s rear end around above her face. It limits his tongues access to her pussy, but doesn’t stop his licking completely, and it also allows her to get her face up close to his cock.
With her now familiar zeal she launches forward and wraps her mouth around the tip of the cock, sucks it quickly, then lets it out of her mouth so that she can look up at the camera and state that, “Mmmmnnnnn, yeah, dog cock sucker…” She sucks it again, then takes it out, “Dirty fucking dog cock sucker…” Another quick suck, then pulling her mouth away and letting his cum dribble down her chin. “I’m a dogslut now… Yeah…” She says with a laugh, bringing her hand up to wipe that dog-cum from her chin all over her face with an audible laugh. Looking into camera, “Is this what you wanted to see? Is it?” Then it’s back in her mouth and she’s sucking like a machine.
Our audience at home will have already deduced this, but Caitlyn spells it out for us in another close-up, “She’s a fucking nut-job!”
Lauren looks up into the camera lens and smiles around the cock as she continues to move her mouth up and down the shaft, making noise the whole time, at one point she even manages to wink as the camera moves in for a close-up, then almost chokes on her own laughter.
After a good session of sucking on tip and the around the shaft, she slows down and spends a few strokes trying to go even deeper on the dog. Each time she tries she gets a few millimeters further than before. Her lips touching the knot, the tip of the cock rubbing the back of her throat. Choking her. Making her gag… Forcing her to pull free, cough, and then come up smiling again, with drool and mucous hanging from her chin… And that stupid, over-excited laugh again as she looks directly into the camera. “Not a good mother, eh? Abso-fucking-lutely right… Just a dirty dogwhore!”
She rolls over from under the dog and onto her hands and knees facing him, then bends her arms to drop her big chest low to the floor so she’s looking up at his face again. Her face a mess of drool, dog-cum and mucous, she lets him take another few licks to clean her up, again, letting her mouth hang open and taking his tongue inside, letting out muffled, “Aarrrggg-hhaaa-hhaaaa-hhaaaa” laughs as she does it.
Samson has soon had enough of this, he’s clearly ready to take control of the session – skipping around to her side to get behind her, but his path barred by her bed… But this playful maniac doesn’t make it easy for him. Shuffling around on hands and knees, trying to face up to him and stop him getting round the back. Smiling and laughing the whole time. “Come on then… Do your best… Come on…” She goads between the giggles.
The powerful Pointer seems to be having fun playing with her, but clearly wants to fuck her more than play… He lets out an excited bark, the loudest we’ve heard on the show to date, then mounts her from the front end, his front legs gripping her around the chest, his chest on the back of her head, his cock rubbing into her peroxide hair as he tries to fuck her. Of course this makes her laugh even more. “That’s not it, you dumb fucker…” She laughs from under him. “Are you trying to get back into my mouth..?”
A second later and he’s back on the floor, looking for another way to get around her… And she’s still taunting him… Laughing at him… “Dumb fucker… Come and get me…” and then that laugh. It would almost be cruel if we didn’t know the kind of merciless fucking that he was going to give her as soon as he gets the chance!
He tries to get around behind her again, on the other side, through a mess of camera men’s legs, and she turns again… She’s the ultimate prick teaser. We know she wants it, she’s said she wants it, but she’s making the poor fucker wait… “Too slow… I hope you fuck faster than you run…” She laughs…
And then, just as our viewers will be getting frustrated by the lack of action, Samson jumps up onto the bed, bounding around then jumping off, landing on the floor via a couple of feet and a big scratch on her back, and he’s suddenly behind her. She doesn’t try to fight him – dropping those big gake boobs to the threadbare carpet, offering up her skinny behind. Reaching back with both hands, hooking her g-string to one side, then spreading herself wide.
Samson doesn’t need an invitation like this… He mounts her and rams his cock into her without any assistance. He’s on top, he’s in control… The fuck starts now!
Lauren shifts in position under the dog – rocking back on her knees to push her arse out toward him. Flipping that wavy bad bleach-job of a haircut over to the side of her head and looking back at him as he drives his cock deeper into her.
She fucking slut loves it! We can tell from the look on her face, from the way she moves, and from the way she says, “I fucking LOVE it..! Oh I fucking LOVE IT!” as the dog hammers into her.
And hammer into her he does… Over and over, fast and nasty.
Another cutaway to Caitlyn, smiling a wicked smile, “Go on boy, fuck the shit out of her…”
We cut to another of Charley’s GoPro close-ups to see the small knot at the base of his cock barely formed but already making an impression as it parts the folds of her pussy lips, slipping in and out of her with a little bump on every stroke.
Then cut to a close-up of her face – her almost giggling between the thrusts, enjoying this new sensation. “Fuck – that’s good… I… Oh fucking yes… Fucking my cunt… Fuck my dirty fucking cunt.. Do that… Do that…”, as the dog shuffles behind her, changing his angle, changing his speed, pushing harder into her…
Him arching his back to pump into her from above, whilst she takes her weight on one hand and uses the other to maul at her almost solid tits, gripping and pulling at them – the dog fucking this slut is a filthy sight – but the constant stream of verbals is just as filthy. She’s got a bad mouth on her… “Is my cunt tight?”, “OOoooooohhhh yes, fuck a slut…”, and as she searches for every word she can find, “Fuck a fucking slutty, cunt-bag, dirty, dog-loving cunt…”
And the noise never stops – either she’s laughing like a lunatic, screaming indecipherable sounds of pleasure, or just swearing her head off, this dirty slut is going to be remembered for a long time.
She’s not bothered by the scratches on her back, her sides, hips and thighs, from Samson’s scrabbling movements – almost losing grip or position and scraping back into position… She’s enjoying herself and is either unaware of them, or is taking pleasure from the additional pain…
The joy is clear on Lauren’s face – she wants to be the ultimate whore, and she’s doing a pretty good job of it. If only she was better looking!
Samson doesn’t care how she looks – only that she’s the right size for him to wrap his front legs around, hold in place, and fuck the shit out of… Which he is still doing.
She pauses her tirade of swearing, her eyes bulging a little, mouth open, and then shares that… “I can feel his fucking knot in my cunt… Oh God that’s good… That’s so fucking nasty…” Her accent shining through on that last “nasty”.
She is pushed forward, involuntarily seeming to try to pull away from the size of the ball of muscle and gristle in her twat – but riding it out until the dog comes to a stand-still. Resting. Mission accomplished. Tied.
We cut to another low angle close up of Lauren’s cock filled cunt as she falls silent for a second, pausing as she takes the full size of his knot inside her. It’s big and it’s ugly. And, “It’s like having a bloke fisting you and squeezing a tea bag out inside you…” She comments – like that’s the kind of comparison people would understand. “All painful and hot…”
She looks up at the camera again, that maniacal grin on her face, eyes a little too wide open and happy, “I fucking love it!”
Another GoPro shot of Caitlyn, “I’m not surprised… Dirty fucking slut!” She seems almost oblivious to the fact that she to is a dogslut…
The two fuckers are locked together like this for eight minutes, with Lauren moaning and swearing the whole time, rocking herself slowly back and forth against the dog’s cock. We usually cut the tie down to a brief clip, but we spend a little longer with Lauren because the expressions she pulls, the words she says, and the rocking action as she milks every last drop of pleasure from the moment, are all pretty tantalizing even for a drug destroyed bitch like her.
Once we’ve seen enough of her reacting to the knot, we cut back to a close-up of the point of interest… That fat knot beginning to crown, appearing to stretch the cunt lips to their maximum limit, then there’s a tell-tale farting, slurping sound, and little wet bubbles begin to spit from the flesh seal around the knot, accompanied by the sound of Lauren wailing, “Ooohhhhh that’s fucking luscious!” – then all of a sudden in one very quick moment, the knot pops free, the cock slops out, and the dog jumps away, bouncing and padding to the other side of the room with that big cock hanging under him.
Lauren remains in position, without the dog on top of her, her knees seem to be spread very wide, and her cunt is wide open. Charley has taken a back seat in this week’s episode, but she steps up now – reaches in under her guest, holding a glass under her pussy to catch the doggy jism as it dribbles out.
As the line is beginning to dry up, she pushes down on her pelvic floor, opening that pussy up again and spilling another sloppy gob of cum to plop out into the glass.
Charley jokes, “That’s a good little yield there!”, then slips a finger (uninvited) into the sknny slut’s pussy to scoop some more of Samson’s love-juice out and into the glass where it joins what has become a healthy dose of dog-semen – all milky and uninviting.
Lauren turns around and kneels facing us – resting her bony behind on her ankles. She looks overjoyed, and still just about as crazy-eyed as you’ll ever see, reaching both hands out toward Charley, who is just off camera. “Gimme gimme gimme…” She says with a desperately excited and hungry tone to her voice.
Charley hands the glass over – a centimeter of gray fluid rolling around in the bottom of it. She holds the small glass with both hands, holding it up to nose, sniffing the content and giggling, then lowering it slightly so that she can tongue the rim of the glass… Then, after quick but terrifyingly strange giggle, she drinks it all back in one go… She shows the viewers at home that her mouth is full to the point of over-flowing, then closes it and makes a big deal of swallowing the lot, forcing it down, before opening her mouth wide to show that the cum is all gone (and that her teeth are in terrible condition)… And then she’s laughing again, before suddenly stopping and looking right into camera to shriek, “Can I have my children back now… I’m doing what I love now… Can I have them, eh?”
We freeze-frame on this image. Lauren – completely fucking deranged, mid-shout at the camera!
We fade through to a more sedate Lauren, sitting on the bed, still naked, but now looking a little cold. Holding her arms across her body. Just a hint of regret about her.
Samson is brought over to her to say goodbye. “We’ve got to get going.” Says Greg apologetically. Caitlyn adds with a bitchy tone. “We need to get Samson to the vet to get his shots!”
Lauren ignores the comment and leans forward, wrapping her arms around the dog’s neck, giving him a quick kiss on his nose. He licks the air infront of his face, perhaps trying to get his own nose rather than Lauren’s face.
The dog is lead away and Lauren sits back and looks up into camera – preparing herself for the post-fuck interview. Suddenly shivering a little. She reaches around behind her on the bed to grab the blanket and pull it up around her shoulders.
Charley hands her a prize t-shirt. “Maybe you should take this right away…” She says. Lauren takes it, unfolds it and pulls it on over the head, stretching it over her fake tits. Charley continues… “So that’s a big welcome to our growing United Kingdom of Zoo family… And you’ve certainly made an impression… How was it for you?”
“I think I might have done something a bit stupid, but you know, I don’t regret it… I’ve made my point.” She answers with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Did you enjoy it?” Charley asks.
“The sex?” Lauren shrugs her shoulders again. “Who doesn’t enjoy a nice big cock inside them, eh? And he was a very good fuck… Brief, but fucking good…” She smiles and licks her lips, remembers, “Oh yeah, tasted nice too!”
Charley decides to become a serious interviewer, “How do you think your daughter will feel about mummy being on a show like this?”
Lauren’s smile disappears, “I’m sure her family will have told her that Mummy is a total slut anyway… So at least this way I get to tell her that I AM a total slut, but I do it because they made me…” She looks right into the camera, leaning toward it, the ex-druggie in full force, “Daddy made me make those videos, and Daddy wouldn’t let me see you, so I had to do this so everyone could know he’s a cunt and I’ve got nothing to lose because of him.”
“Do you want her to see the video?” Asks Charley, looking a little surprised.
“I want her to see all of my videos. All the men and women I’ve fucked, and the dog… I want her to know exactly who her mummy is and where she came from!”
With that she suddenly rolls back on the bed, spreading her legs, exposing her pussy. “I’ve been waiting all day for this…” She says, “Do you want to eat my pussy for me?”
Charley barely pauses. “Nope…” Then turns to camera. “That’s all for this week’s show. Next week we’ll be back ‘up north’ for some fun and games with a real exhibitionist… Until then, have a safe week and kids… Stay away from drugs!”
We fade out on a smiling Charley and a disappointed looking Lauren.
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