We open with an establishing montage – shots of a classic 1960’s school campus – brick and glass, with lots of green wooden panels, everything very square, flat roofs, boring. Kids spilling out – scruffy kids in white shirts and black trousers… Jumping infront of the camera as they pass. Some of them trying to look cool, one girl in particular striking a pose, skirt up to show off her thigh, hand behind head – but far too young to be the subject of our show… Then we’re in the staff car-park – a nice car-park with spaces arranged around a central garden with trees and benches, a quiet space for teachers to enjoy away from the students.
Walking out from between those trees, toward camera, speaking like a professional tv host – albeit a scruffy, fat, cockney one – it’s our only male host, Dennis… This week, rather than having his handsome Doberman by his side, he’s carrying what appears to be a heavy black bucket as he begins his introduction. “Hello, and welcome to another edition of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’… I’m your host, Dennis Baxter, and this week we’re in Barry, in Souf Wales, to meet another DIR-TEE SLUT… The citizens of the UK of Zoo come in all shapes and sizes, and have a variety of desires, and this week there’s something a little different on the menu… A lady who is both sexy and disturbed… Very, very disturbed!” He looks down to the bucket in his hand, then up to us with a little nod.
We cut to a classroom with sinks and ovens, a Home Economics room. 16-year-old students standing up at the front of the class as their teacher demonstrates what they will be cooking today…
She’s fairly young – slim, but a little harsh looking, like she’s in a permanent bad mood. Her facial features are actually bordering on masculine… Then there’s her short black hair, which is cut in a severe style, thick black rimmed spectacles, and porcelain white skin… She’s dressed in predominantly black clothing – blouse, trousers. Despite the severe look, and the bad mood face – there’s something about her that interests us… It’s probably just the fact that she’s on our show!
She’s showing her class how to prepare a fish – the fish, still whole, on the cutting board infront of her, and her showing off her sharp knife – ready to cut into it, but just as she’s about to start, we cut again…
The students are no longer here, and the teacher is talking direct to camera, beginning her introduction – her voice the classic authorities tone of a teacher trying to sound like she’s in control, with a Welsh flavour to it. “My name is Wendy Smith. I’m 28, and I’m a home economics teacher from Barry in Wales… I’ve always been a pervert – and I want to show the world just how dirty I am by having sex with…” She holds up a half-gutted fish. “Something a little bit more alive than this!!”
We cut to a wider angle, a few seconds later – Wendy standing in the middle of the room, shuffling her weight from one foot to the other, looking mildly impatient.
“I think teaching was a mistake… I just… Fucking… HATE… Teenagers. I haven’t got the patience for them. I love the ones who want to learn, but the others – that’s most of them – I just… Oh… I could kill the lot of them. Poison them with a taste test or something!” She seems to think this is funny rather than psychotic.
Then she’s talking again, “I don’t have a partner at the moment, which is frustrating… I’ve had boyfriends because, you know, I’m not baaaaaad looking…” We can’t argue – she’s no beauty queen, but she’s no ugly duckling either. She continues, “… So it can be a bit frustrating… I want to go home and talk about my day, and vent my frustration, but my ex’s all say I complain too much… So, I just get more and more frustrated, and that becomes a kind-of sexual energy… So I just end up masturbating all the time. Finish work, go home, play with myself, shower – then bed… Usually playing with myself in the shower, and in bed… I’ve got a dildo… But what I really like to do is touch myself with something ‘real’, something ‘fresh’, ‘alive’…”
She pauses, firing a look at each member of our crew, as if she’s waiting for someone to make a smartarse comment. No-one does, because we’re a very accepting crew.
“I’ve masturbated with vegetables, and even with fish from the shops… But I’ve never tried it with something that’s still breathing and moving around… I can’t imagine how good that will feel… To feel it wriggling around as it dies inside me…” She pauses. “That probably sounds completely demented and cruel… But it’s a perverted desire, it’s supposed to be demented! I can’t control what turns me on!”
We can’t argue with this comment – no one controls what turns them on, that’s why we have our show after all…
She’s still talking, trying to explain herself – not looking as if she’s worried anyone will judge her, just wanting to be clear… “Fish…. They’re cold blooded… No-one ever seems to care about them… The things I think about, if I thought them about a dog or a horse, everyone would say it’s disgusting… But with fish… I can think and do whatever I want and not feel bad…”
She’s not well… But we’re not here to discriminate, and we’ve already got the bucket full of… We pan down to it – looking inside and seeing 6 inches of water, with half a dozen two-foot-long eels swirling and wriggling around it.
We pan back up to Wendy, who’s crouching down over the bucket, looking down into it, a strange smile on her face – transfixed. Her blouse is loose, and as she leans forward we can see the curve of her inverted cleavage hanging down…. She looks up at us, raises her hands, and feeling the need to be different – she clicks her fingers – and we cut to…
Exactly the same location, framed exactly the same way – but Wendy is now completely naked (except for her thick rimmed spectacles). Still on her knees bent forward over the bucket, but now with those tits hanging loose… Her body pale and slim, her breasts nicely rounded, and as she straightens up we see a thin little landing strip of perfectly trimmed pubic hair leading two inches up from her cunt… And she’s looking at us with that strange smile on her face, then looking back down at the bucket… One hand on her thigh, the other hovering in the air just above the bucket… Pausing… Not looking away from the squirming eels as she asks, “Is it okay if I just dive right in?”
We cut to a behind the scenes shot of Dennis, looking and sounding vaguely confused, shrugging as he says, “Yeah, whatever… I’ve no idea how this thing works… Eels is weird!”
We cut back to Wendy, her hand still hovering over the eels – ready to go, but showing just a hint of nerves… Pausing, then shuffling forward so that her knees are on either side of the bucket, her thighs pressed against the plastic, feeling the cold of the water within… She rests her buttocks down to the floor between her heels, then a flicker of a smile crosses her face and she drops her hand into the bucket…
She swirls it around, letting the eels squirm through her fingers, trying to grab one – biting her bottom lip as she thinks about what she’s about to do, controlling her breathing… And then catching hold of something she likes – and lifting it out of the water…
In the air it looks awkward and slimy, as fat as a Rottweiler’s cock, but obviously much longer – and wriggling/squirming about. She’s holding it about six inches from the head, her fingertips almost meeting her thumb tip… Around 18 inches of writhing flesh hang from the back of her fist.
She brings it to her body, holding it so that the tail hangs down between her round boobs – letting that cold, wet tail slap against her skin… Letting out an “OOOooo!” sound as the long fish wriggles from side-to side, slapping against the insides of her cleavage, sending cold water dribbling down over her belly.
She raises the eels head up toward hers, moving it face-to-face – holding the gasping open mouth infront of hers, and pouting as she looks down at it… Then moving it toward her lips, pushing them out and ‘kissing’ the cold fish. It continues gasping for air as she continues the kiss, pushing the head slowly between her lips – sucking the ‘nose’, then pushing deeper… Deeper and deeper, as if she is beginning a blow-job, but with an eel’s head rather than a cock… The whole head in her mouth, her lips wrapped around it, rubbing over it’s eyes as she pushes it in and out – her eyes closed.
After sucking it for a few more seconds, she lets her lips drag along it’s body and head as she pulls it out – the eels head appearing, mouth particularly wide as it tries to breath out of water…
She holds in infront of her face, opening her eyes and smiling at it… “You’re going to taste a lot better after I’ve fucked you!”
We cut to a wider shot, and watch as Wendy shuffles back from the bucket, leaning back and straightening her legs out. She lays on her back, then raises her knees and spreads her thighs – exposing the lips of her pussy, thin and neat, a little cracked coconut of a cunt.
She brings the eel down over her body, dangling it against her boobs, then rubbing and sliding it down over her flattish belly, and down between her thighs… She lets out little squeaks and gasps as she rubs the head down and over her twat. Rolling her hips and pushing her pelvis upwards to meet the fish she’s holding against herself.
She rubs the head over her pussy, poking the nose/tip of the jaw between her lips, and running it up and down her crack… Twisting her pelvis up and down, her belly bouncing, her spare hand moving from one round tit to the other, pinching the nipples, pulling gently on them.
She tries to get the mouth of the eel over her clit – holding it there as if she’s hoping it will bite, lick or suck on her clit… It doesn’t – so she rubs it’s face all over it instead… Then, once she’s primed and soaking – she pushes the head deeper between her lips, then works fist-over-fist to push a good ten inches of the cold fish into her body…
She’s gasping as the slimy creature slides into her flesh… The kind of gasp you hear when a girl jumps into cold water… The shocking, slimy, sexy sensation of the cold-blooded creature entering her body is quite unlike anything she has ever felt before…
And then she’s pumping it… Ten inches to a foot of eel inside her, the same amount of tail flapping around outside – and her wanking it as if she’s just grown a huge, deformed cock of her own… In and out, slow and deep… Her body jerking and twitching as she entertains herself.
She jerks it like this for a little while – slow, long strokes, pushing the fish deep into her cunt, then sliding it six inches out, making sure she leaves the head well inside… Speeding up, her breathing speeding up as she pumps it in and out of her body…
Then she’s going fist-over-fist again, gripping the shaft of the fish and pushing it deeper, then moving her grip along its body and pushing deeper again… Easing the whole thing inside her, her belly spasming as she pushes it deep… It’s tail not quite disappearing inside her, the flat tip poking about two inches out of her… The rest of the cold beast must be twisting and coiling up deep inside her snatch.
Judging by the way she’s arching her back, and jerking around, this must feel very good to her… And her continued moans and gasps confirm this…
She brings both hands up to her tits and fondles them – squeezing the boobs and pinching the nipples as the coiling, writhing fish in her cunt drives her wild… And as she fondles herself, she writhes, and as the eel moves around it gets closer to popping back out of her…
Her moans get louder as the eel’s body appears between her pussy lips… A coil of its body, doubled-back on itself – a loop – splitting the lips… And then, as it continues to try to turn around, the ugly little head pops out and its mouth opens as if gasping for air…
As its head pops out of her pussy, Wendy also has her mouth open wide, gasping for air, loving this new experience… On the edge of cumming to the strange, cold and slimy sensation…
And then the whole eel slips and slides out of her body… Twenty-two inches of cold, ugly fish, slithering through her pussy lips in one, long, continuous and fast motion. Wendy’s whole body shakes in reaction – but she’s silent… The sensation too good to describe with simple moans or gasps… Just a silent shake… Hands resting on her tits, but no longer squeezing… Just holding… She looks like she’s either going to throw up or explode with pure joy…
We pan down to look at the eel on the floor between her thighs… It’s still alive, trying to move on the wet lino, but just slithering around in the same place.
We cut to another behind the scenes shot of Dennis, raising his eyebrows as if to say he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He looks at our sound-man, Richard, and asks (doubtfully), “Is this a turn-on?”
Richard nods enthusiastically, but doesn’t speak… Then focuses back on the action… Dennis looks even more confused.
We cut to a moment later, Wendy has caught her breath and is kneeling next to that bucket again, her bottom on her heels… The first eel still twisting slowly on the floor beside her.
She reaches in as before, grabbing an eel in one tight fisted grip and pulling it up out of the water… She’s holding it just behind it’s ‘head’, gripping by the ‘neck’, as she raises it up infront of her, taking hold of its body about a foot from the end of the tail. She holds it infront of her tits slaps its flat long tail against them, her mouth open and smiling, and then up to her face, slapping each cheek a few times, before sliding that tail over to her mouth – and sucking it in… Sucking on the tail – slimy and cold – her eyes half closed, her hips shaking… The dirty Welsh slut loves this… Weird and a disgusting, it’s right up her street!
With the tail in her mouth, she holds the head down against one of her tits, rubbing it over her nipple, then sliding it off that one, over her chest and onto the other… Rubbing the eels open mouth over her other nipple… Breathing hard around that tail…
She releases the tail, and lets the body hang down from her other hand as she continues to rub the beast over her tit… Then she leans forward again, and reaches into the bucket to grab a second fish – it takes a couple of attempts, but she soon pulls a second out…
With an eel in each hand, each gripped just behind the head, she shuffles around slightly to get front-on to our camera – raising the two fish up to the level of her face, infront of her, so that we can see them on either side of the screen, with her face in the middle…
Again, she’s not pretty… She’s not even particularly sexy – despite her body being in pretty good shape, especially her boobs. She’s quite strange really – everything about her, from the look to the way she moves, to the fact that she’s positively loving using this eels for sexual purposes.
She smiles for us, but it looks more like an experiment than a moment of happiness… Then looks from eel to eel and talks to them. “Well hello boys… What do you think I’m going to do to you..?” She pauses, then holds them both out toward the original eel, still on the floor, barely moving but evidently still alive. “This is what happened to my last lover…” She chuckles… Looking from one to the other, making her decision, “I wonder who’s next…”
A wicked, and strange, smile crossing her face as she moves them each in close to her mouth so she can kiss one, closed mouth, lips together – then the other… Then mouth open, tongue out to a point, licking one eel’s mouth, then the other…
Then opening wider, and poking one eels head inside her mouth again, sucking on it for a second, then turning to the other, pulling the first free of her lips, and then sucking on him… Then it’s back and forth, from one to the other… Fish head in her mouth, lips around its slimy skin, sucking and pushing in deeper, then switching again back to the eel in her other hand……
She’s pushing each of them four of five inches into her mouth, to the point that they don’t trigger her gag reflex, but the wetness and the taste disgust her so much that she has to switch… We can tell she’s pushing herself – disgusted by how it feels and tastes, but turned on by how disgusting it is…
The eel in her left, into her mouth, suck – push it in further – pull it out; turn head, the eel in her right hand, into mouth, suck – push in further – slide it out… Back and forth half a dozen times, occasionally bothering to make eye contact with our camera, but usually just focussing on how it feels to her…
And then… The eel in her left, into her mouth, suck – push it in further, mouth open with four inches of eel in there, and pushing the second eel in with her right hand… Two eels four inches into her mouth, her lips unable to close around both… Pumping them both in and out, alternating which fist she moves… Pushing them deeper until she can barely open her jaw wider… Water and drool running out of her open mouth, spilling down her chin, and dribbling down onto her tits below, and the floor…
She seems to be bouncing on her heels a little as she forces these two eels as deep into her mouth as she can – excited, disgusted – definitely turned-on…
We cut to behind the camera again, switching places, Dennis taking the headphones and boom microphone, and Richard stepping forward, looking a little nervous as he steps infront of the cameras for real…
Throughout the following scene we notice that with Dennis operating the sound equipment, our recording notably more muffled and spotty, and the boom mic sometimes swings through the frame. It’s moments like this that we appreciate our talented crew and their ability to catch all of the wonderful sounds and images on our show, without ever getting in the way!
Back to Wendy, who is no longer sucking the two eels, she’s just holding them against her tits as Richard enters frame from the side… She reaches out and hands one of the long slippery fish to him (he almost drops it as it writhes in his hand, but takes a tight hold)…
And then she’s smiling as she leans forward and places her weight onto her empty hand, an eel still in the other… Moving her knees apart, pushing her bum back, bending her back so her belly is pointing downwards. We move around behind her as she’s doing this, and we note that she actually has a pretty good arse and back arch, very inviting. Perhaps the secret with Wendy is to get as far away from her face as possible…
She reaches back between her legs with the eels head still gripped tightly in her fist, twists her wrist upwards and between her slim thighs, and un-ceremonially stuffs the fish’s slim head into her cunt… Letting out an “Uuuhhh” as she pushes it inside herself… She lowers herself to her elbow, and then forward so she’s resting her weight on her chest and the side of her face, to free up her other hand, and she reaches back with that too – now using both hands to feed a good eight or nine inches of the eel into her cold cunt…
“Stick it in me…” She orders Richard… It doesn’t sound like a sexual request – it sounds almost like a teacher telling a child to put something in a frying pan…
Our sound man steps forward and squats/crouches behind her, eel in hand, and pushes it’s head – nose first – up against her arsehole. Richard might not be the loudest guy in the world, but he’s spent a lot of time close to women performing bestial sex acts, so he’s not too phased by this… He pushes the fish’s head into the woman’s arsehole… An inch in, then out… An inch in, then out again… Then two inches in, and leaving it there as she gasps…
DP’d with eels… Her body shaking a little…
Richard pushes the eel deeper into her arse… Forcing it in there. At times it looks like the poor animal might burst, split, or snap, as he forces it into a hole tighter than it was ever intended to pass through.
Wendy is holding the eel in her pussy with one hand, slapping the other on the hard floor… And Richard is pushing inch after inch, ten of them now, into her arse…
And then they are both pumping, alternating – her pushing her eel into her pussy, whilst he pulls his eel outwards from her arse (but not all the way); then him pushing several inches of fish into her arse as she slides hers out of her pussy. They’ve got a good rhythm going and it doesn’t take long to get the dirty teacher to the edge of another cold, wet, orgasm. Breathing hard, mouth open, eyes closed… One hand working a long fish between her thighs, the other swiping around on the wet classroom floor…
Another crewmember has the brainwave to pull another eel from the bucket and drape it over the woman’s neck, then another and drape it over her raised arse, hanging it over the eel that’s already sticking out of there in Richard’s hand. Richard tells him to “Be’ave!” but leaves the eel in place as he continues pumping. Both eels slowly slither off Wendy and to the floor… The one from her neck squirming close enough to her face for her to become aware of it…
She grabs the third eel with her free hand and brings it up to her mouth, kissing and licking at its slimy skin… Running her tongue along it until she reaches the gills… Poking the tip of her tongue between them and wiggling it as she moans… The sensation of the twin eels in her pussy and arse keeping her right on the edge of that orgasm… Not quite there… Just needing a little more…
And then she jams the head of the third eel into her mouth, wraps her lips around it, and sucks on its head…
Live animals – cold, horrible and characterless – filling her mouth, pussy and arse… All being pumped in and out of her… Squirming as much as they can… Tensing muscles almost as fast as she does… She suddenly collapses, her body slipping flat on the floor as she loses all muscle control… The strangest orgasm she’s ever had – intense but cold, intense pleasure but complete emptiness… No emotion at all… No warmth, just energy… She squirms on slippery wet floor, unable to control herself…
Coughing the eel from her mouth, letting the one in her pussy wriggle free… Richard diligently following her down to the floor with his, still holding it in her arse, if anything he’s pushing it in harder as she squirms.
We hold this shot, her wriggling and writhing, a bit like a fish out of water herself, with three eels on the floor around her in various conditions of health… And a fourth sticking out of her arse, held there by our crewmember. She continues to jerk and spasm as the pleasure fires through her body, finally settling down after a good minute of amazing sensations.
Richard lets go of the eel in her arse, but doesn’t pull it free, and the strange beast continues to writhe, flipping its rear end slowly from side-to-side like some bizarre alien tale sticking out of this vague human figure on the floor.
We move down to look at her face up close. Colourless. Barely moving, eyes glassy… Lips parted… Breathing shallow. “Oh… My… God…” She gasps, slowly. “That was… Disgusting…” And then, with the slightest of smiles. “I loved it…”
She lays there for a few more seconds, the eel still sticking out of her arse, then lifts her head up and looks over to temporary sound man Dennis, and says, “I believe it’s traditional…” Still catching her breath. “… To let you complete my bebasement…” She tries a seductive smile, but on her face it just looks sarcastic.
We cut to Dennis behind the cameras, his jeans baggy in the crotch area, no interest there at all. “No darlin’, I fink I’ll pass…”
Rather than looking disappointed, Wendy looks over her shoulder at Richard – who looks a little stunned… “What about you then?” She asks. More an order than a question. “Come on… I want a hot one in me…”
We cut to a wide-shot – Wendy is on all fours, with her nice behind up in the air again, and Richard is kneeling behind her. He’s holding the eel that’s still stuck into her arse, and slipping his cock into her pussy beneath it… The look on his face suggests he’s liking this just a little too much… Almost as turned on by the fishy fun as she is… He’s pumping into her as she looks around at the eels writhing on the floor infront of her. She’s almost ignoring him as she reaches out to poke at them, sliding them around on the lino, lining them up, side-by-side… Smiling at them and only occasionally tossing her head back as Richard thumps into her pussy particularly hard.
He reaches the short strokes fairly quickly – the twin sensations of (1) this strange but fit young wierdo’s tight snatch around his cock, and (2) the eel in her arse pressing up against his knob through the thin vaginal wall, soon putting him onto an irreversible path to spraying his thick load all over her cervix… He pulls hard against her as he cums, and she tosses her head back and smiles – possibly the most natural looking smile of the day… “Oooohhh warmmm…” She moans as Richard fills her cunt and falls forward onto her back to catch his breath. Trapping, bending, and almost snapping the eel in her arse between his belly and her back, putting even more strain on her ring.
We fade out on this image…
Then fade back in on Wendy, still naked, standing infront of a stove-top at the side of the classroom. She has a large frying pan and there’s hot oil spitting as she fries little rings of eel meat… The spits of hot oil hit her tits and belly and she reacts as if she enjoys it – jumping from shock, but giggling with pleasure… Cooking those tender little morsels to a crisp… A chopping board to one side of the stove-top contains a couple of semi-dismembered eels (their heads side by side, mouths open, eyes blank), and a third that still looks alive, moving around slowly next to them.
Then we cut to a wide shot of all of our crew eating little chunks of friend eel meat, almost like some surreal cocktail party. Their host and chef, having just fucked the food before cooking it for them, moves through the group (still naked) offering seconds from a large plate.
Dennis may not have been impressed with the sex, but he’s never met a foodstuff he doesn’t like – and he’s eating twice as much as anyone else in the room as we fade out for another, particularly strange, episode.
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