We start this week’s show an establishing shot of a curved row of tightly packed two and three level orange-brick homes along one side of a street, with tree and grass parkland on the other side of the road. We move along, looking up at the impressive looking houses before coming to a halt and looking back down to the street ahead of us… And see a familiar figure walking toward us…
It’s everyone’s favourite odd couple… Fat Cockney, Dennis Baxter, and sleek Doberman. Dennis is short, flabby, and has hair everywhere except the top of his head – even after several years as a co-host it’s still a shock to see him compared to our other hosts – but there’s something about him that many of our viewers love… The idea that if he can do this, anyone can… Beside him, the Doberman is sleek and mean looking, with a beautiful shiny black coat of hair and barely an ounce of fat on him.
Dennis talks, slightly out of breath from the walk. “Ello, and welcome to another edition of the ‘United Kingdom of Zoo’… I’m Dennis Baxter… And this…” He looks down to his side, then continuing, “… is the one and only, Casanova… The third.” He pauses, taking a breath, then continues his intro. “And this week we’ve made the short drive to Peckham, in London, to meet an older lady, who wants to break the oldest of taboos…”
He points to the side and we pan the camera around to point back at the row of houses – just in time to see a smiling, round-faced, slimmish, middle-aged woman walking down the steps and front pathway toward us. With short, light-brown hair, big spectacles, and a friendly smile, she looks relaxed and happy – very much the nice-lady-next-door type.
We cut to a shot of her in close-up. Talking direct to camera in a Cockney accent that doesn’t quite match Dennis’s abrasive tone. “Hello there. I’m Maria Harris, and I’m 59-years-old. I’m a primary school teacher from Peckham in London.” She smiles that friendly smile again, and we can far more easily imagine her reading stories to six-year-olds rather than appearing on a show like ours.
We cut to a two-shot, showing Maria walking alongside Dennis. They are walking toward our camera, which is retreating along the street. Dennis would prefer not to do these walk and talk shots, but we like to make him suffer a little – after all, he has such a great life!
“So Maria, tell us a little bit about why you applied to be on the show…”
Maria laughs, then confesses, looking side-ways at Dennis, as if waiting for approval. “Everyone has these interesting, long-winded explanations of why they want to do it – when they first got turned on, and how long they’ve wanted to do it… But the truth is – I saw your show – and it turned me on… And I thought, ‘I’m not getting any younger’, so I applied… I don’t miss out on anything that might be fun!”
“And that’s all there is to it?” Checks Dennis.
“Yeah…” She nods with a big smile, before adding, “Can I fuck your doggy now?”
Dennis laughs. “Well, can’t fault you for being honest… No second thoughts?”
Maria shakes her head. “None at all. Life’s too short for second thoughts. I can’t wait to get started… He’s gorgeous – I just want to have him on my back, pounding into me… I can’t wait.”
“Well… In that case…” Says Dennis, stopping and half turning around, “… I think we should be getting back to your place!”
We cut to ‘her place’ – that nice orange brick house… Then move into the living room where we see a middle-aged man sitting on the couch. He waves to the camera as we hear Maria introducing him. “This is Callum… My very ‘understanding’ husband…”
“’Ello Callum…” Says Dennis, reaching out to shake the man’s hand. “What do you think about all of this then?”
We can see Maria beginning to undress to the side of the couch as Callum answers, “I can’t say I’m surprised… She likes to try everything… One day she tells me she’s been watching UK of Zoo and I knew what she was going to say next!”
Maria removes her top, showing off a decent pair of soft tits in a white bra, and a soft belly beneath… Then reaches down to unzip her trousers as the men continue talking.
“And how did it make you feel,” checks Dennis, “… finding out she wanted to try this…”
We cut to a shot of the Doberman as Dennis says ‘this’, then back to Callum smiling as his wife pulls her trousers down, revealing white panties and a slightly oversized pair of thighs. She’s not fat, just almost 60 years old and with the loose-ness/lack of muscle-tone one would expect.
Callum notes, “I love it when she does stupid shit like this… I married her because she’s a nutter… We stayed married because I love that she’s a nutter… She gets these ideas, and I just sit back and enjoy the show.”
Maria’s unfastening her bra, releasing those soft, sagging mounds of boob as Dennis continues the interview.
“What other ‘stupid shit’ does she get up to? I mean, what’s the kinkiest thing she’s done before this?” Checks our host.
Callum looks up at his wife as she massages her big boobs a little, pinching and pulling on her nipples – they exchange shrugs before she prompts, “Black boys?”
“Yeah…” Callum confirms. “A few years back she had a phase – she really liked young black men… Boys really. If she could get three or four teenage black boys, the African ones, not the locals, and have them take turns on her, she was in heaven.”
Behind him, pulling hard on her nipples and twisting them, Maria is smiling – a reminiscing smile, thinking about on good memories. “I loved their energy and enthusiasm!” She pauses. “I love a good pounding!”
We cut to her on the floor, her panties are gone as well now, and she’s totally naked. Her soft body completely exposed. Looking excited as Dennis walks Casanova over to her – letting him pull on his leash until he is just inches from our guest’s face… The dog’s frustration appears to amuse her – and she taunts him a little, opening and closing her mouth, flicking her tongue out… “Hello… Hallooo…”
He strains against his collar, keen to get to her pursed lips and that tempting tongue…
Dennis let’s go of a loop of his leash, letting him lurch forward six inches – which is more than enough for him to make contact with her, slopping his big tongue over her face. It’s big, warm, and wet… And it’s sudden enough to take her by surprise and make her laugh, moving aside to let his weight push by her.
“Be gentle now… I’m an old lady!” She laughs as she rolls away onto her side, with the dog twisting to follow her. She ends up on her back, and he ends up standing over her, head down licking her face…
She’s letting him lick, laughing and pursing her lips, poking her tongue out between his licks, winding him up – making quick smoochie noises, then quickly pursing her lips again – letting him work her face over… Licking at her mouth, smooshing her soft lips to the side – a slow-motion shot really highlighting how far the flesh is stretched each time he drags his big tongue over her…
He repeats the kiss several times before we suddenly cut back to regular speed footage – the vision is good, but the sound is where the real effect comes from… Wet and sloppy as his tongue hits her, slurpy and soggy as it drags over her, that ugly ssschhluupp sound as he ends one kiss and begins the next.
As he’s licking her mouth, and she’s trying not to laugh, keeping her lips together as they turn up into a smile, trying to suppress her laughter at how ridiculous the situation is… At the same time, she’s trying to elevate the situation, slipping her hand up under his belly, running along to his sheath, and taking it in her hand, quickly moving to wank the dog hard… Still smiling as the dog licks her face some more.
She looks around at the camera, turning slightly away from the kisses so she can tell us that, “It feels nice…” She wanks it a little more, then clarifies, “His cock, feels nice… And his kisses… He’s a good kisser!” – and turns back toward that hungry tongue.
We move to a close-up of his undercarriage, watching as she continues to pump his sheath for a few more seconds – the tip of his cock making its first appearance of the week, poking clear of the furry pouch, then growing quickly to a few inches – swelling thicker and longer, more of it exposed as she pulls the shaft back.
Maria, having moved away from the kisses off camera, is now leaning in close under him, still smiling – licking her lips as she prepares to get her first taste…
She continues to pull the sheath back, exposing more of the pink shaft, then taking hold of the shaft with her other hand – experimentally pulling (gently) on it… Wrapping her fingers around it, stroking her grip up and down his shaft – checking that he’s happy with her touching it…
Casanova continues to pant, looking around at our cameras and his owner, no doubt wondering when he’s going to be allowed to mount his bitch and have his fun.
Below his belly, Maria leans in closer, licking her lips, and comments, “It looks like a lolly-pop!” – then flicking her tongue over the tip, pausing, then wrapping her lips around the tip – holding the shaft toward her face as she sucks on the end, letting out an “Ummmm” noise, as if not sure about the taste, then pulling her head back, smacking her lips together a few times, pulling a slightly bitter face, and noting, “He doesn’t taste like a lolly-pop!”
“How does he taste?” checks Callum with an amused tone to his voice.
Maria considers her answer as she looks at the growing cock in her hand, “Bitter… But… A nice bitter… I could get used to it…” – cocking her head on one side, and then leaning forward and stuffing the hard tool back into her mouth, closing her lips around it and beginning to suck.
Slipping the shaft deeper into her mouth, pushing it so far back into her throat that she begins to gag and choke – then pulling back a little and sucking again, before pushing it back in until she gags again…
We’re guessing she’s sucked a lot of cock in her life… She’s got that style of sucking – the ‘this-is-all-about-you’ method of pleasuring her partner, and it’s nice to see her extend it to a dog. Keeping it up for quite some time – so long that we actually cut a couple of minutes worth of action out in the final edit of the show (usually we only cut material from the false-starts and the tie)… We still get to show a good couple of minutes – the old girl sliding that cock right to the back of her throat, choking, gagging, then pulling it out, dragging her loose lips along it…
She finally draws it all the way out, and smiles as she gasps a few deep breaths in, looking off camera to Callum, “This is much more fun than boys!”
“It’s fucking filthy to watch!” Laughs her husband.
“Do you want me to stop..?” She asks, still holding the Doberman’s cock in one hand and smiling – we can tell that there’s no way she’s going to stop.
“Don’t be stupid!” Laughs Callum, “I want to see how much you can take…!”
Maria turns the cock sideways, taking a good look, and joking, “I can take it all!”
We cut to an image of her assuming the position – on hands and knees, soft belly sagging, big tits hanging straight down toward the floor, swinging rather than wobbling as she moves.
Her arse pushed up in the air, arms straight, head up, turned toward her husband – pulling an “oh yeah” face and nodding, “Here we goooo!” – full of fun.
Casanova moving up behind her, taking a quick sniff at her hindquarters, a tentative lick – his long tongue sliding up over her pussy and arsecrack a couple of times, then stepping forward – encouraged by a “Go on my son!” from Dennis (off camera), and then big Doberman rises up, moving forward over her wide behind, wrapping his strong front legs around her, and pulling tigh against her back… Reality hits home…
“Oh myyyyy Gawd!” She gasps, her voice shaking as the beast takes up position.
He shuffles in closer, getting his body tight to hers… His front legs hooking around the front of her big thighs, pulling hard, his crotch stabbing at her, that big dick slapping up against her flesh.
We drop down low to watch as the tip of his cock bounces off her pussy, around her loose flaps, against her soft thighs… Short, staccato bursts as he tries to find his target – and then he lunges forward, finding the perfect spot – her lips parting around his meat, welcoming him in… We hear her gasp and swear, “FFFAAAAHHHHRRRRKKKKIN ‘ELLL!” as his cock disappears inside her … Then cut to a wider angle, to watch it all again…
Old slut on hands and knees, dog on her back, hindquarters pumping… We can tell the exact moment he penetrates her, because her head rises, eyes wide, and she lets out that long, “FFFAAAAHHHHRRRRKKKIN ‘ELLL!” – a definite look of joy amidst the shock. In the background we can see her husband almost spilling his beer as she gasps…
And then the beast is fucking her – fucking her hard and fast… His sleek body tight to her back, his hindpaws between her nicely spread knees, his belly curving around her – balls swinging as his cock is rattled in and out of her pussy…
It pops out after a dozen strokes, but he steers it back in through a combination of experience, luck and frenzied persistence… And she swears again, “FFFAARRKKKK!” – a little deeper, a little more breathless – then he’s back into full flow.
Maria is gasping and swearing throughout – “Fuck that cunt… Oooohh fuck my cunt… OOOhhhh!” – over and over throughout the thrusting, which makes her voice jagged and uneven. She bares her teeth and breaths hard as he continues to pump into her, “FUCK ME… Oh YEEaaahhssss, fuck me fuck me fuck me…”
We cut down low for another close-up of his long glistening shaft, pink/grey and covered with little spiderwebbed blood vessels, a blur as it slides in and out of her at almost unrealistic speed. Cum leaks out between his shaft and her pussy lips, dripping down to the floor… Wet slapping sounds almost drowning out her swearing, but not quite, so we still hear her “fuck me fuck me fuck me” calls.
Back in the side-angle, with Maria on her hands and knees, and Casanova on her back… Dennis and Callum in the background watching on – Dennis looking almost bored, Callum looking more amused than aroused.
The dog is pumping hard and fast at her, bending his back, curling his groin under her, between her thighs, driving that tool into her willing and wet hole – making her tits and belly jiggle… And then, suddenly, he isn’t… Stopped dead on her back, with his head raised up in the air, an expression on his face that suggests supreme contentment. We’re guessing that his knot is inside his bitch, swelling up and filling her out, locking him in place…
Beneath him, Maria looks anything but content – a pained look on her face, straining against the swelling inside her… Still moaning and swearing, “OOOHH FFFFFUUUUHHHKIINGGG ‘ELL… That’s fuuhhkin’ ‘uge… OOoooohhh fffuuccckkk!”
She grits her teeth, letting out a long growling moan, “”AAArrrgghhhhhnnnn!”- as she fights the pain… Then breaking into a little smile, and a gasp, gasping as quick, “Oh Gawd!”, and then returning to the gritted teeth growing. She’s evidently enjoying this despite the pain – or perhaps because of it.
For his part, Casanova just stands over her, his hindlegs steady, his body resting on her back, fur on flesh, head in the air, dumb look on his face – mouth open, tongue out, panting…
We move around behind him, watching his balls throbbing and arsehole twitching as he pumps his hot spunk into her old belly. Each throb/twitch resulting in another little gasp from our guest. “OOhh fucckk… Ooohh ffuccckk…”
We change angles, looking between her soft thighs, up to the cock jammed in her fleshy pussy… The knot hidden away inside her body, only that skinny base section on view. Cum gathering and dripping from the hood of her clit as we linger on the image, waiting as the drops form and drip… Stretching the moment, just as that knot is stretching her pussy.
We cut to a shot of Callum walking from the kitchen, back through the living room with a couple of cans of beer, stepping carefully around the lovers on the floor – Casanova watching him closely as he passes, letting out a little growl, warning him to stay away… Maria has her head down toward the floor, her face hidden, and is still letting out little moans, but has stopped swearing.
As he moves behind her, Callum bends forward to take a quick look at the tie, looking up between their legs and letting out a quiet, “You’ve really done it now, girl!”, laughing to himself as he returns to his seat, passing a can to Dennis as he sits.
Then another side-angle shot of Maria as she continues to take the knot… No movement, other than the pair of them straining to fill their lungs. We can hear Maria breathing, but still can’t see her face – head down, hair hanging infront of her face.
We cut back to her pussy – now a little open, with the knot sliding ever so slowly back into view. More cum dripping from around the shaft, her hole glistening around it. Maria is moaning louder again, letting out the occasional, “FFuuhhhhkkk!” again as she begins to feel the strain.
The knot begins to crown infront of us, stretching her pussy out to its limits, raising the tone of her voice… The pussy lips spreading wide until we can see the whole of the knot – still inside, but about to pop… And then… Birthing… “UURRGGGHHH!”
We cut to the wide shot again, watching as our guest’s head shoots up in the air, her hair thrown back from her reddened face. All the strain of holding that knot inside for the last ten minutes, combined with the joy of having sex with a dog, and the pain of the reverse birth… It’s all on that face – her mouth hanging open as she looks for the words to capture the moment…
Casanova backs away, stepping awkwardly away, walking like he’s worried his cock is going to drag on the floor – almost prancing, but exhausted… Moving away, leaving his bitch on hands and knees, rocking back and forward as if she still has a shaft to work in her pussy… Recovering her senses as much as her body… Then pushing herself up onto her knees, sitting back onto her heels, and sweeping her hair back out of her face with both hands – her heavy old tits rising with her arms. Blowing the air out of her lungs and then smiling… Looking up at our camera, at the crew behind it, and letting out a, “Wow!” before smiling broadly again.
Casanova staggers around infront of her and she grabs him by the chest – a hand across his path, the other hand stroking his back, loving rather than sexual. Leaning forward against him and saying, “Thankyou… You were fantastic…” – he responds by licking at her face a few times, kisses which she accepts with pursed lips.
He doesn’t wait long, he has no further use for this cock-sock, so pulls away from her and wanders over to Dennis for a rub on the neck and head, and to settle down at his master’s feet to start cleaning his own cock.
Back to Maria, half turned, watching the dog – then looking back toward her husband, checking, “What did you think?”
He replies, “You looked like you were having fun…”
“I don’t know that fun’s the right word…” She quips.
We cut to a different angle, with her in close-up, commenting that, “It was good, but it was painful… Before I started I couldn’t wait to get started, and now I’ve finished, I can’t wait to do it again… But when I was actually doing it, most of the time, it was fucking painful!” She pauses. “That bloody knot… That wasn’t fun… Definitely not… But yeah… Painful or not, I’ll do it again, because it was a dog… It was… It was like nothing I’ve ever done before.”
Dennis is close-by, holding his microphone into shot. “So, no regrets?”
Maria pauses, pursing her lips again, thinking, “No. No regrets about today… If I’ve got any regret it would be that I wish I’d done it years ago… But I’ve still got plenty of time to experiment.”
“More dogsex?” Asks our host.
“Definitely… More dogs… Maybe two at the same time… One in the pussy one in the mouth… And… I’d like to try a horse, and a pig… And whatever else… I want to try it all.” She nods.
Dennis comments, with Maria nodding and smiling. “A curious and adventurous woman… Well, you’ve made a fantastic start, and now that you’re a citizen of the United Kingdom of Zoo you might be surprised by how many doors open to new opportunities for you.” He’s talking, of course, about that tabloid scandal about our former guests meeting up to share animals and share new experiences, which despite all the denials is actually very real.
We cut to a shot of Maria, still naked, big boobs hanging against her ribs. She is kneeling on the floor infront of her husband, with Casanova sitting infront of her – all of them facing toward us. Callum reaching forward to stroke her hair as if she is a dog, and her reaching forward to stroke the dog because he is one! It’s a twisted family portrait of sorts.
Dennis is infront of them, summing up for another week. “Well, that’s it for another week in the United Kingdom of Zoo… Another fine immigrant for our nasty nation, guaranteeing that the wildlife of our land will be the happiest on the planet. We’ll be back again next week to meet another lady, and to please another animal… Until then, stay safe…”
As we begin to fade out, she looks over her shoulder at her husband, smiling, and he looks back, noting that, “You really are a fucking crazy girl, you know that, right?”
And the last words we hear are her reply, “That’s why you love me…” – and we’re done for another week.
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